In response to the new LJ decision
Mar. 20th, 2008 | 11:22 am
mood: 
calm
I have decided to end my time here. It's been fun, and I will certainly still be coming back to read one or two choice blogs. But I will no longer write here.
My blog can still be found at http://www.suitebabygirl.com so that'd be the best place to find me. This journal will be closed completely tomorrow.
Live Journal finally fell to the need for money. It was bound to happen, and it's a choice that they made, I'm sure, out of necessity. However, it was the way they went about it, the rude and insensitive "oh well, we don't need unpaying bloggers anyway" type attitude that they seemed to have fronted that brings me to the conclusion that if they don't want nonpaying members, then I won't stay around. I paid for two years, now this? Nope.
Come see me, say hi. *hugs*
With love to my LJ friends and to those friends whom I've known offline -
Tala
My blog can still be found at http://www.suitebabygirl.com so that'd be the best place to find me. This journal will be closed completely tomorrow.
Live Journal finally fell to the need for money. It was bound to happen, and it's a choice that they made, I'm sure, out of necessity. However, it was the way they went about it, the rude and insensitive "oh well, we don't need unpaying bloggers anyway" type attitude that they seemed to have fronted that brings me to the conclusion that if they don't want nonpaying members, then I won't stay around. I paid for two years, now this? Nope.
Come see me, say hi. *hugs*
With love to my LJ friends and to those friends whom I've known offline -
Tala
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From the desk of Andy Rooney
Mar. 18th, 2008 | 09:30 pm
mood: amused
In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks about women over 40:
60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)
As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)
As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
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NO CONTENT STRIKE MARCH 21 - midnight to midnight GMT
Mar. 18th, 2008 | 03:25 pm
mood: 
angry
For those of you who don't already know, there has been a strike scheduled for Friday, March 21st, 2008, during which we hope to have many members of LiveJournal provide LJ with absolutely no content for twenty-four hours. This means no posting and no commenting. If you post elsewhere and have it set up to be posted through a feed on LiveJournal, don't do it. Stay away from LiveJournal for twenty-four hours. That can't be too hard, can it?
I know some of you are probably quite active on LiveJournal and will find it hard to stay away for an entire day, just as I will, but this is something that needs to be done, to show the people running LiveJournal that we're watching the changes they are making, that we're paying attention, that we're discontent, and that we want to be heard and taken in to consideration. We are not simply users who can be tossed to the side and ignored. We are the people who make up LiveJournal. Without us, without the content we create, without our words, our voices, our creativity, our participation, there would be no LiveJournal. This is a fact, and it needs to be realized and understood and then taken in to consideration when making decisions regarding the way that LiveJournal is run.
The strike is only a few days away, so there isn't all too much time to prepare. While this is unfortunate, it isn't enough to keep this strike from taking place. It will take place, the second it is meant to, and it would be best to have as many people take part as possible. Please, spread the word. Spread it fast. There are only a few days to organize this. If you find that you care about LiveJournal or care about the people you interact with on LiveJournal or simply want it to remain a place where you can entertain yourself without constant censorship and money-hungry practices being thrown in without the consideration of those who use the service, act now. If you don't wish to spread the word, that is fine, but please: refrain from using LiveJournal on Friday, March 21st. Do something else for a change. It's for a good cause. (:
For background on this strike and why it is being held, please read the following posts:
http://beckyzoole.livejournal.com/39483
http://beckyzoole.livejournal.com/39531
To find out exactly when the strike begins and ends, depending on where you are located, please see this:
http://beckyzoole.livejournal.com/39512
What's this about?
* It's about free and ad-free LiveJournal accounts being abolished for new members, ignoring the advice from the newly-formed Advisory Board.
* It's about LJ staff trying to sneak this decision in under the radar, and when people found out, telling the users it was done 'to make the signup process less confusing'.
* It's about LJ staff failing to apologize for trying to hide the facts from view and for lying about the actual reasons for their actions.
* And finally, it's about the latest decision to hide certain user interests from the list of Most Popular Interests, some of them being fanfiction, bisexuality, sex and depression. This decision was not announced or explained in any way. Users found out for themselves.
-Taken from the journal of crowgrl13, who took it from the journal of m03m
I know some of you are probably quite active on LiveJournal and will find it hard to stay away for an entire day, just as I will, but this is something that needs to be done, to show the people running LiveJournal that we're watching the changes they are making, that we're paying attention, that we're discontent, and that we want to be heard and taken in to consideration. We are not simply users who can be tossed to the side and ignored. We are the people who make up LiveJournal. Without us, without the content we create, without our words, our voices, our creativity, our participation, there would be no LiveJournal. This is a fact, and it needs to be realized and understood and then taken in to consideration when making decisions regarding the way that LiveJournal is run.
The strike is only a few days away, so there isn't all too much time to prepare. While this is unfortunate, it isn't enough to keep this strike from taking place. It will take place, the second it is meant to, and it would be best to have as many people take part as possible. Please, spread the word. Spread it fast. There are only a few days to organize this. If you find that you care about LiveJournal or care about the people you interact with on LiveJournal or simply want it to remain a place where you can entertain yourself without constant censorship and money-hungry practices being thrown in without the consideration of those who use the service, act now. If you don't wish to spread the word, that is fine, but please: refrain from using LiveJournal on Friday, March 21st. Do something else for a change. It's for a good cause. (:
For background on this strike and why it is being held, please read the following posts:
http://beckyzoole.livejournal.com/39483
http://beckyzoole.livejournal.com/39531
To find out exactly when the strike begins and ends, depending on where you are located, please see this:
http://beckyzoole.livejournal.com/39512
What's this about?
* It's about free and ad-free LiveJournal accounts being abolished for new members, ignoring the advice from the newly-formed Advisory Board.
* It's about LJ staff trying to sneak this decision in under the radar, and when people found out, telling the users it was done 'to make the signup process less confusing'.
* It's about LJ staff failing to apologize for trying to hide the facts from view and for lying about the actual reasons for their actions.
* And finally, it's about the latest decision to hide certain user interests from the list of Most Popular Interests, some of them being fanfiction, bisexuality, sex and depression. This decision was not announced or explained in any way. Users found out for themselves.
-Taken from the journal of crowgrl13, who took it from the journal of m03m
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This applies outside of climbing, too.
Mar. 18th, 2008 | 03:22 pm
mood: cheerful
Note: Michael is a good friend of mine, and my roomie. He's also the person to blame for getting me into climbing. Thanks Mike!!
Mike sent this to me in today's email.
I think this is a great article with some really good food for thought!
When I began climbing nearly 30 years ago, the adage was "the leader never falls." In the day of hemp rope and imaginary protection, it was life saving advice because the system would probably fail to stop the leader and most likely allow the whole climbing party to be swept off the face. Although taught to a "newbie" climber, this essential principle of the past was on the verge of becoming obsolete.
By the seventies, climbing gear had improved enough to safely stop falls, but the "style" of the time didn't endorse falling. It was called the "ground-up" ethic – everything started from the ground and proceeded upward. When a leader fell, it was considered appropriate to lower to the ground, pull the rope (and as much protection as possible) and start again. The concept of figuring out a move or series of moves while leading was considered bad form. Thanks to a few visionaries, some of whom did so in a climbing vacuum, began to "hang-dog" routes until they were able to redpoint (climb to the top without falling) the route. And over time, the tide shifted. The advancement in natural and fixed protection have led to low-risk, high performance climbing.
Scott Milton in an article called "The Leader Better Fall" in Gripped (v7.04) said, "Obviously, the goal is to not fall, but if a leader is not falling on safe routes, then that person is not pushing themselves hard enough and their growth as a climber will be stunted." Falling is never easy for two simple reasons:
It's not a natural and an often scary thing to do.
It shows that we just failed.
The scary part can be justified in some climbing situations, but many times it is not.
Falling is a climbing skill that should be learned and practiced. First, always be aware of your fall zone. Your fall should be safe from hitting anything (watch out for small ledges, etc.). Make sure the rope is not behind your leg as this can lead to a head–banging flip, (obviously, always wear a helmet!). And, know that your belayer is attentive and gear placement is solid. On a route that is slightly overhanging where most of the rope is out (i.e. high on the pitch), take a few falls for the fun of it. Start below the protection and then slowly work to where the protection is at your feet. The late Todd Skinner, when freeing the Headwall on the Salathe' Wall route on El Capitan in 1988, would start each day with a few falls. It was a way of getting the jitters out – 2,500 feet off the deck.
The second part to falling is showing the world that we failed. This kind of "fear of failure" is normal and keeps most climbers from accomplishing as much as they can. On pitches where a fall may come into play, many climbers focus on the possibility of falling with all the requisite implications and emotions, and they don't concentrate on the task at hand.
For me, when I'm on a climb that is in my "hard" zone, the issue is often a lack of focus on the fact that I'm above a safe fall zone. Then when the moves become difficult and I'm losing my confidence in success, my mind begins to race and I get into tunnel vision mode. That leads to missing key holds and not looking to get the bit of extra rest that will allow for success on the route.
In football, the decisions of the quarterback determine the effectiveness of the offense. When college quarterbacks transition to the pros, they often go through a rough stretch as they adjust to the faster pace of play. However, after a few years of experience, the game "slows down" for the quarterback as he is able to speed up his decision-making with confidence.
As I write this first part of this article, I'm on a plane to El Potrero Chico, Mexico. I haven't been on rope for over two months and normally, when I'm not climbing regularly, I'm not very receptive to the idea of falling. Adhering to my own advice, I'm making a decision to accept the possibility of "failing by falling" rather than grabbing a draw or saying "take" too soon.
Mike sent this to me in today's email.
I think this is a great article with some really good food for thought!
When I began climbing nearly 30 years ago, the adage was "the leader never falls." In the day of hemp rope and imaginary protection, it was life saving advice because the system would probably fail to stop the leader and most likely allow the whole climbing party to be swept off the face. Although taught to a "newbie" climber, this essential principle of the past was on the verge of becoming obsolete.
By the seventies, climbing gear had improved enough to safely stop falls, but the "style" of the time didn't endorse falling. It was called the "ground-up" ethic – everything started from the ground and proceeded upward. When a leader fell, it was considered appropriate to lower to the ground, pull the rope (and as much protection as possible) and start again. The concept of figuring out a move or series of moves while leading was considered bad form. Thanks to a few visionaries, some of whom did so in a climbing vacuum, began to "hang-dog" routes until they were able to redpoint (climb to the top without falling) the route. And over time, the tide shifted. The advancement in natural and fixed protection have led to low-risk, high performance climbing.
Scott Milton in an article called "The Leader Better Fall" in Gripped (v7.04) said, "Obviously, the goal is to not fall, but if a leader is not falling on safe routes, then that person is not pushing themselves hard enough and their growth as a climber will be stunted." Falling is never easy for two simple reasons:
It's not a natural and an often scary thing to do.
It shows that we just failed.
The scary part can be justified in some climbing situations, but many times it is not.
Falling is a climbing skill that should be learned and practiced. First, always be aware of your fall zone. Your fall should be safe from hitting anything (watch out for small ledges, etc.). Make sure the rope is not behind your leg as this can lead to a head–banging flip, (obviously, always wear a helmet!). And, know that your belayer is attentive and gear placement is solid. On a route that is slightly overhanging where most of the rope is out (i.e. high on the pitch), take a few falls for the fun of it. Start below the protection and then slowly work to where the protection is at your feet. The late Todd Skinner, when freeing the Headwall on the Salathe' Wall route on El Capitan in 1988, would start each day with a few falls. It was a way of getting the jitters out – 2,500 feet off the deck.
The second part to falling is showing the world that we failed. This kind of "fear of failure" is normal and keeps most climbers from accomplishing as much as they can. On pitches where a fall may come into play, many climbers focus on the possibility of falling with all the requisite implications and emotions, and they don't concentrate on the task at hand.
For me, when I'm on a climb that is in my "hard" zone, the issue is often a lack of focus on the fact that I'm above a safe fall zone. Then when the moves become difficult and I'm losing my confidence in success, my mind begins to race and I get into tunnel vision mode. That leads to missing key holds and not looking to get the bit of extra rest that will allow for success on the route.
In football, the decisions of the quarterback determine the effectiveness of the offense. When college quarterbacks transition to the pros, they often go through a rough stretch as they adjust to the faster pace of play. However, after a few years of experience, the game "slows down" for the quarterback as he is able to speed up his decision-making with confidence.
As I write this first part of this article, I'm on a plane to El Potrero Chico, Mexico. I haven't been on rope for over two months and normally, when I'm not climbing regularly, I'm not very receptive to the idea of falling. Adhering to my own advice, I'm making a decision to accept the possibility of "failing by falling" rather than grabbing a draw or saying "take" too soon.
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Climb Happy!!
Mar. 16th, 2008 | 08:27 pm
mood: happy
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Pre-Climb Food?
Mar. 15th, 2008 | 10:40 am
mood: 
confused
I'm a bit confused. On one hand, I know that I don't want to eat anything overly heavy or large, but on the other hand, I have to eat something to fuel my body before working out, lest I seize or faint.
Help! I'd like some ideas on what I could eat that would do well for me. I'm on a roll here and don't want to come off, but I don't have much of a good idea about what to do pre-climb about breakfast. :(
I know to eat a high protein meal no more than an hour after climbing, so that my body has something to work with to rebuild the muscle that I just spent several hours ripping apart, but what to do beforehand?
Kinda makes me wish that Chris were still around - HE would be a huge wealth of info about this. *sigh* Hindsight, folks - it's 20/20. :(
Help! I'd like some ideas on what I could eat that would do well for me. I'm on a roll here and don't want to come off, but I don't have much of a good idea about what to do pre-climb about breakfast. :(
I know to eat a high protein meal no more than an hour after climbing, so that my body has something to work with to rebuild the muscle that I just spent several hours ripping apart, but what to do beforehand?
Kinda makes me wish that Chris were still around - HE would be a huge wealth of info about this. *sigh* Hindsight, folks - it's 20/20. :(
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CLIMBING v.3.2
Mar. 12th, 2008 | 10:33 pm
mood: high
Just got back and discovered something.
I did top 4 tonight. Almost topped two more but my arms just weren't going to let me do it. And that's okay. As Mike reminded me - it's not about how many are topped, but the experience of the climb. :)
Something I'm noticing, though, is that my arms are getting really tired really fast. I'm sore tonight, because I pushed my arms until they literally could not fasten nor remove my harness. Holy moly. I'm discovering that my dominant arm, which is my right, is getting stronger and noticeably more defined than my left. What do I need to do to make sure that my left is going along at the same rate??
(Conversation with Mike - it comes with time. As I progress, the walls will force me to use the other arm, thus helping me to build it equally. However, there are dumbbells in the storage room to use between climbs to help with that as well.)
I have officially lost 3 pounds. Doesn't sound like a lot - but I'm finding that I need new pants. Mine no longer fit correctly. :D
Overall, I'm happy with the night's climbing. I almost topped a 5-7, which is the next step up from what I've been doing thus far - I'm progressing!!! :) I never thought I'd ever be doing this - and damned if I'm not good at it! How fantastic is that? I CAN DO IT AND LOVE IT!!!!
I did top 4 tonight. Almost topped two more but my arms just weren't going to let me do it. And that's okay. As Mike reminded me - it's not about how many are topped, but the experience of the climb. :)
Something I'm noticing, though, is that my arms are getting really tired really fast. I'm sore tonight, because I pushed my arms until they literally could not fasten nor remove my harness. Holy moly. I'm discovering that my dominant arm, which is my right, is getting stronger and noticeably more defined than my left. What do I need to do to make sure that my left is going along at the same rate??
(Conversation with Mike - it comes with time. As I progress, the walls will force me to use the other arm, thus helping me to build it equally. However, there are dumbbells in the storage room to use between climbs to help with that as well.)
I have officially lost 3 pounds. Doesn't sound like a lot - but I'm finding that I need new pants. Mine no longer fit correctly. :D
Overall, I'm happy with the night's climbing. I almost topped a 5-7, which is the next step up from what I've been doing thus far - I'm progressing!!! :) I never thought I'd ever be doing this - and damned if I'm not good at it! How fantastic is that? I CAN DO IT AND LOVE IT!!!!
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Ahahahahaha!!
Mar. 10th, 2008 | 11:00 am
mood: amused
music: Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss - BHG
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CLIMBING v.3.1
Mar. 10th, 2008 | 07:52 am
mood: aggravated
So I went climbing again yesterday and just had a really disappointing day of it. :(
I only topped two. Blah. One of those two was the one I had attempted and my wrist popped, so at least I got it. The other was my first of the day - and I'd already done it before, so it wasn't a new one.
I spent most of the time there belaying for a new climber that Mike and kitten had invited along - Chad. Cool dude, very groovy to talk with, and he's a lot better at this climbing thing than I am. Got his belay certification and managed to top a 5-9! WTG Chad!
I did attempt a 5-7 and got about halfway, but had to come down. I just really wasn't feeling it, and the whole day was off for me. I really am not sure why. :(
I had a small seizure, but got over it. I'm just glad I didn't seize on a wall. That would have sucked major fat ones.
Today I just feel - blah. Disappointed, a little pissed off, frustrated. Climbing can be great therapy, but it can also be a huge pisser when the day just doesn't work out. *sigh*
I only topped two. Blah. One of those two was the one I had attempted and my wrist popped, so at least I got it. The other was my first of the day - and I'd already done it before, so it wasn't a new one.
I spent most of the time there belaying for a new climber that Mike and kitten had invited along - Chad. Cool dude, very groovy to talk with, and he's a lot better at this climbing thing than I am. Got his belay certification and managed to top a 5-9! WTG Chad!
I did attempt a 5-7 and got about halfway, but had to come down. I just really wasn't feeling it, and the whole day was off for me. I really am not sure why. :(
I had a small seizure, but got over it. I'm just glad I didn't seize on a wall. That would have sucked major fat ones.
Today I just feel - blah. Disappointed, a little pissed off, frustrated. Climbing can be great therapy, but it can also be a huge pisser when the day just doesn't work out. *sigh*
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CLIMBING v.3
Mar. 7th, 2008 | 09:52 am
mood: content
Went climbing again last night. I swear this is getting so addictive.
Out of 6 walls attempted, I topped three, two of them new ones that I'd not tried before, one of those two with a ledge. w00t.
I should have had four walls topped, but when I got about two rocks away from topping the fourth, my right wrist popped. Painfully and loudly. It was then that I decided that it'd be a better idea to rappel down and try again another time - I don't want to break anything, and that buggar fuckin hurt. I'm happy to report that it doesn't hurt today and is functioning just fine.
I'm getting callouses on my hands from gripping rope and rocks. This is good.
What's kinda buggin me, though, is that when I step on the scale now, it shows weight GAIN, not loss, even though my diet is changing for the better, (no sodas! Less junk! More green stuff!), and I'm exercising. But there's this voice from my past, deep and reassuring, that reminds me that muscle weighs more than fat. I'm adding muscle, which will help burn the fat. Werd.
So I'm not sore, really, but I'm having difficulty moving a bit, just pure weakness. Go 'til fail. I did that, and am still a bit on the weak side. I'll be fine by Sunday, when I climb again!
Out of 6 walls attempted, I topped three, two of them new ones that I'd not tried before, one of those two with a ledge. w00t.
I should have had four walls topped, but when I got about two rocks away from topping the fourth, my right wrist popped. Painfully and loudly. It was then that I decided that it'd be a better idea to rappel down and try again another time - I don't want to break anything, and that buggar fuckin hurt. I'm happy to report that it doesn't hurt today and is functioning just fine.
I'm getting callouses on my hands from gripping rope and rocks. This is good.
What's kinda buggin me, though, is that when I step on the scale now, it shows weight GAIN, not loss, even though my diet is changing for the better, (no sodas! Less junk! More green stuff!), and I'm exercising. But there's this voice from my past, deep and reassuring, that reminds me that muscle weighs more than fat. I'm adding muscle, which will help burn the fat. Werd.
So I'm not sore, really, but I'm having difficulty moving a bit, just pure weakness. Go 'til fail. I did that, and am still a bit on the weak side. I'll be fine by Sunday, when I climb again!
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For Those Thinking of Climbing
Mar. 4th, 2008 | 04:15 pm
mood: 
sleepy
Learning to climb isn't hard. It's learning to lead climb. And even for those who are very serious and careful, it can turn ugly.
This video was shot last Thursday, and is my roomie Mike. He's lead climbing. And he takes a nasty fall that, had he not been so careful with his climbing, could have been VERY bad.
Click the link. See him doing a beautiful lead climb and then fall off the wall.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?d
(Incidentally - he's fine. A little banged up and sore, but went climbing with me on Sunday afterward.)
This video was shot last Thursday, and is my roomie Mike. He's lead climbing. And he takes a nasty fall that, had he not been so careful with his climbing, could have been VERY bad.
Click the link. See him doing a beautiful lead climb and then fall off the wall.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?d
(Incidentally - he's fine. A little banged up and sore, but went climbing with me on Sunday afterward.)
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CLIMBING v.2
Mar. 1st, 2008 | 06:29 pm
mood: proud
music: Pull Me Under - Dream Theater
So went again today, after a 2 week hiatus. I am tired, I am sore, and I am PROUD!
If you recall, I topped one climb the last time I went. Today I topped FOUR and officially earned my "5-6" badge, (no, there are no real badges, but dammit, I can make one in Photoshop :p). Three easy climbs (beginner/alligator wall) and one 5-6 tallboy.
I'm sooooooo damn proud. And soooooo damn tired. And I'm not sure I have arms at this point, but at the same time, I don't remember the last time I felt so physically strong.
w00t!! Photos! I'm the butt on the left, in blue jeans.
If you recall, I topped one climb the last time I went. Today I topped FOUR and officially earned my "5-6" badge, (no, there are no real badges, but dammit, I can make one in Photoshop :p). Three easy climbs (beginner/alligator wall) and one 5-6 tallboy.
I'm sooooooo damn proud. And soooooo damn tired. And I'm not sure I have arms at this point, but at the same time, I don't remember the last time I felt so physically strong.
w00t!! Photos! I'm the butt on the left, in blue jeans.
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Fun With Fucktards
Feb. 28th, 2008 | 09:57 am
mood: amused
music: As I Am - Dream Theater
(This is snagged from OG over at Neanderpundit.com, but was so good, I had to share.)
Fun with Fucktards
So I go into Wild Oats Market tonight, in search of steel cut oats.
And I find them, very quickly, and am ready to leave. The macrobiotic patchouli scented crap was making me crazy, and the hippies were making me sick. One couple, in particular, were particularly annoying. As I reached for my can of Irish steel cut oats, I noticed him making hand gestures toward his ear (He didn’t have a bluetooth headset in, I did) and overheard him saying “ooh, I’m so cool, I have bluetooth”.
Actually, it’s nothing of the sort, I frankly forgot I had it in, and I do hate looking like the Borg.
But hey, I thought, why not have some fun with it.
So i walked a bit further down the aisle. Now, I’m out of range- the phone itself is out in the car. This headset, when it goes out of range of the phone, the blue light goes on, and the headset beeps.
So I put my hand to my ear.
“hello?”
The hippie couple look up from their macrobiotic organically grown fuckstick sprouts.
“Yeah, it’s me. How can I help you?”
Of course, there’s nobody there, the headset is disconnected but the light is on, and THEY don’t know it’s out of range
“Oh, sure. yeah? Take the shot.”
Hippies look up
“Yeah, take the shot. it’s fine.”
a pause. I nod my head.
“Third and fourth Thoracic Vertebra. Really.”
Hippies beginning to look startled
“Draw an imaginary line from the top of the left to the top of the right shoulder, and about four inches below the center.”
“No, nobody will ever know. Nobody living, anyway.”
“Don’t jerk the trigger. You remember the training.”
“Yes, each one is a little easier than the last. This is what, five?”
“Nine? Wow, time flies. Is that the siencer? You should have put that on earlier.”
“Don’t forget the window this time. yes, you only have to open it for the shot.”
“You have it? No, don’t take it until you hang up, I don’t want to be deaf in one ear.”
I tap my ear again and walk toward the entrance, the blue light goes off.
Like magic, I get a call from a co-worker. I tap my ear again.
“Yes? Can I help you? oh, you. Are you done now? yes? good. Don’t forget to clean up. Talk later!”
By now the hippies have put down their selections and are making for the door at a speed you might call “let’s get out of here without being too obvious”.
hey, why not.
Fun with Fucktards
So I go into Wild Oats Market tonight, in search of steel cut oats.
And I find them, very quickly, and am ready to leave. The macrobiotic patchouli scented crap was making me crazy, and the hippies were making me sick. One couple, in particular, were particularly annoying. As I reached for my can of Irish steel cut oats, I noticed him making hand gestures toward his ear (He didn’t have a bluetooth headset in, I did) and overheard him saying “ooh, I’m so cool, I have bluetooth”.
Actually, it’s nothing of the sort, I frankly forgot I had it in, and I do hate looking like the Borg.
But hey, I thought, why not have some fun with it.
So i walked a bit further down the aisle. Now, I’m out of range- the phone itself is out in the car. This headset, when it goes out of range of the phone, the blue light goes on, and the headset beeps.
So I put my hand to my ear.
“hello?”
The hippie couple look up from their macrobiotic organically grown fuckstick sprouts.
“Yeah, it’s me. How can I help you?”
Of course, there’s nobody there, the headset is disconnected but the light is on, and THEY don’t know it’s out of range
“Oh, sure. yeah? Take the shot.”
Hippies look up
“Yeah, take the shot. it’s fine.”
a pause. I nod my head.
“Third and fourth Thoracic Vertebra. Really.”
Hippies beginning to look startled
“Draw an imaginary line from the top of the left to the top of the right shoulder, and about four inches below the center.”
“No, nobody will ever know. Nobody living, anyway.”
“Don’t jerk the trigger. You remember the training.”
“Yes, each one is a little easier than the last. This is what, five?”
“Nine? Wow, time flies. Is that the siencer? You should have put that on earlier.”
“Don’t forget the window this time. yes, you only have to open it for the shot.”
“You have it? No, don’t take it until you hang up, I don’t want to be deaf in one ear.”
I tap my ear again and walk toward the entrance, the blue light goes off.
Like magic, I get a call from a co-worker. I tap my ear again.
“Yes? Can I help you? oh, you. Are you done now? yes? good. Don’t forget to clean up. Talk later!”
By now the hippies have put down their selections and are making for the door at a speed you might call “let’s get out of here without being too obvious”.
hey, why not.
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Ahahahahaha!
Feb. 26th, 2008 | 10:17 am
mood: amused
music: You're Pretty When I'm Drunk - BHG
While she was “flying” down the road (10 miles over the limit), a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.
The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, “What’s your hurry?”
To which she replied, “I’m late for work.”
“Oh yeah,” said the cop, “What do you do?”
“I’m a rectum stretcher,” she responded.
The cop stammered, “A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?”
“Well,” she said, “I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until it’s about 6 feet wide.”
“And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?” he asked.
“You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge…”
Traffic Ticket - $95.00
Court Costs - $45.00
The Look on Cop’s Face - PRICELESS
The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, “What’s your hurry?”
To which she replied, “I’m late for work.”
“Oh yeah,” said the cop, “What do you do?”
“I’m a rectum stretcher,” she responded.
The cop stammered, “A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?”
“Well,” she said, “I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until it’s about 6 feet wide.”
“And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?” he asked.
“You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge…”
Traffic Ticket - $95.00
Court Costs - $45.00
The Look on Cop’s Face - PRICELESS
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Repost from 2 years ago
Feb. 23rd, 2008 | 11:20 pm
mood: 
depressed
music: Moonlight Serenade - The Dorsey Brothers
But it still rings as true today as it ever did or will. (*edited for age and day*)
"My grandmother, whom i called Mema, would have been 85 yesterday. Now, for most people, marking the birthday of someone already dead is kinda silly. Deal.
My grandmother raised me. She was strength, joy, love, and stability for a small child who otherwise had none. She took me in, loved me, taught me, and provided me with so much. Most of who i am was founded by her, for better or worse.
She was a teacher. She taught for 30 years, (i used to tease her about being in the second grade for 30 years), in Metro Nashville. She didn't go "by the book" with very much. She was much more "hands on" for her students, and though i never sat in her classroom as a student, i was very much her student in a great many ways.
She fostered in me a love of learning. No day goes by without the joy of a lesson learned. Like a sponge, she used to say, take in everything around you, learn from it.
She was my mentor, my guardian, and my best friend. One day in 1997, she called me to tell me that she had liver cancer. i dropped everything and went home, staying with her until she sent me away. She sent me away - ten days before her death.
i don't know that i've forgiven her for that. i know i still haven't forgiven myself for leaving. The immense guilt of leaving her still gnaws at me. Waking up in the middle of the night, knowing that the call was coming momentarily, knowing she was already gone before i picked up the phone...
i can deal with a lot of pain. That was a pain that i was not ready to deal with, and so i shut it off. i don't know when i'll let it all out. i may never let it go. Who knows. i still haven't really taken time to grieve for her.
But every day i see something, hear something, feel something and want to call her to talk to her about it. i still have to fight that urge. i feel her with me, though, and whether that's wishful thinking or truth to the presence of a guardian spirit, i don't know. So i believe what i want to believe, that she's still with me, taking care of me, guiding me through the hardest of times, laughing at my foibles, kicking me in the butt when i crumble.
It helps.
She was so much to me that i haven't let her go. i don't know when or if i ever will. She was my world for so long that to release her now, when i seem to need her the most, would be almost suicidal.
i'll write more later. Right now, i have to pull myself together to move through another day.
i miss you, Mema."
"My grandmother, whom i called Mema, would have been 85 yesterday. Now, for most people, marking the birthday of someone already dead is kinda silly. Deal.
My grandmother raised me. She was strength, joy, love, and stability for a small child who otherwise had none. She took me in, loved me, taught me, and provided me with so much. Most of who i am was founded by her, for better or worse.
She was a teacher. She taught for 30 years, (i used to tease her about being in the second grade for 30 years), in Metro Nashville. She didn't go "by the book" with very much. She was much more "hands on" for her students, and though i never sat in her classroom as a student, i was very much her student in a great many ways.
She fostered in me a love of learning. No day goes by without the joy of a lesson learned. Like a sponge, she used to say, take in everything around you, learn from it.
She was my mentor, my guardian, and my best friend. One day in 1997, she called me to tell me that she had liver cancer. i dropped everything and went home, staying with her until she sent me away. She sent me away - ten days before her death.
i don't know that i've forgiven her for that. i know i still haven't forgiven myself for leaving. The immense guilt of leaving her still gnaws at me. Waking up in the middle of the night, knowing that the call was coming momentarily, knowing she was already gone before i picked up the phone...
i can deal with a lot of pain. That was a pain that i was not ready to deal with, and so i shut it off. i don't know when i'll let it all out. i may never let it go. Who knows. i still haven't really taken time to grieve for her.
But every day i see something, hear something, feel something and want to call her to talk to her about it. i still have to fight that urge. i feel her with me, though, and whether that's wishful thinking or truth to the presence of a guardian spirit, i don't know. So i believe what i want to believe, that she's still with me, taking care of me, guiding me through the hardest of times, laughing at my foibles, kicking me in the butt when i crumble.
It helps.
She was so much to me that i haven't let her go. i don't know when or if i ever will. She was my world for so long that to release her now, when i seem to need her the most, would be almost suicidal.
i'll write more later. Right now, i have to pull myself together to move through another day.
i miss you, Mema."
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ACK! Tagged by da crowgrl!
Feb. 19th, 2008 | 09:26 am
mood: calm
music: Savin Me - Nickelback
This is gonna kinda suck because I don't KNOW 10 other LJers!
"The rules are easy, just post 10 things that recently made you happy! Then tag 10 people and force them to post this meme on their LJs. Because it is good. Everyone needs a little happiness once in a while."
1) Making my first climb in over 16 years!
2) Job interview on Friday!
3) Singing along with whatever music I happen to be listening to at the time.
4) Lost 4 pounds this week!
5) Queensryche.
6) Realizing that my dreams aren't just to be scoffed at.
7) The antics of my two adorable cats.
8) Two words: Tax refund.
9) Being able to use said refund to get some clothing, pay some rent, and pay phone bill.
10) Knowing that if things work the way they should, I can be back in school this time next year.
Yes, all these things have made me happy...or at least kept me from being sad!
So I tag:![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
halcyonpinkchris_cather1973_topturniamage_girl
"The rules are easy, just post 10 things that recently made you happy! Then tag 10 people and force them to post this meme on their LJs. Because it is good. Everyone needs a little happiness once in a while."
1) Making my first climb in over 16 years!
2) Job interview on Friday!
3) Singing along with whatever music I happen to be listening to at the time.
4) Lost 4 pounds this week!
5) Queensryche.
6) Realizing that my dreams aren't just to be scoffed at.
7) The antics of my two adorable cats.
8) Two words: Tax refund.
9) Being able to use said refund to get some clothing, pay some rent, and pay phone bill.
10) Knowing that if things work the way they should, I can be back in school this time next year.
Yes, all these things have made me happy...or at least kept me from being sad!
So I tag:
halcyonpinkchris_cather1973_topturniamage_girlLink | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
Climbing
Feb. 18th, 2008 | 04:33 pm
mood: 
accomplished
music: Alternative Polka - Wierd Al
x-posted to other blogs
So yesterday I went climbing at Climb Nashville, the only real rock gym in metro Nashville, with Michael, kitten, Steven, and Nikki. Met one of Michael’s co-workers, Tonya.
I have not climbed a damn thing in 16 or so years. So after a quick belay and safety rundown with one of the climbing gym’s sexy little manbeasts, (can’t remember his name - I’m betting he’s about 20ish), I started.
Now gang, keep in mind that I weigh in the neighborhood of 270. I am slightly top heavy, though luckily for me, most of the weight is proportionate to my height, (read: I carry it well). And damned if I didn’t scale one climb, about 2/3 of two others, half of another and my arms gave out. Steven topped three. Fucker.
I couldn’t believe that I had done that. I CLIMBED. Vertically. OVER an overhang! I DID IT!!! I am deliriously happy and sore. And I’m going back on Wednesday or Thursday, depending on when Mike goes back.
So yesterday I went climbing at Climb Nashville, the only real rock gym in metro Nashville, with Michael, kitten, Steven, and Nikki. Met one of Michael’s co-workers, Tonya.
I have not climbed a damn thing in 16 or so years. So after a quick belay and safety rundown with one of the climbing gym’s sexy little manbeasts, (can’t remember his name - I’m betting he’s about 20ish), I started.
Now gang, keep in mind that I weigh in the neighborhood of 270. I am slightly top heavy, though luckily for me, most of the weight is proportionate to my height, (read: I carry it well). And damned if I didn’t scale one climb, about 2/3 of two others, half of another and my arms gave out. Steven topped three. Fucker.
I couldn’t believe that I had done that. I CLIMBED. Vertically. OVER an overhang! I DID IT!!! I am deliriously happy and sore. And I’m going back on Wednesday or Thursday, depending on when Mike goes back.
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How It Should Be
Feb. 10th, 2008 | 03:59 pm
mood: 
artistic
music: Breakdown - Tom Petty
Whether or not you believe in God, you should live your life with love, kindness, compassion, mercy and tolerance while trying to make the world a better place. If there is no God, you have lost nothing and will have made a positive impact on those around you. If there is a benevolent God reviewing your life, you will be judged on your actions and not just on your ability to blindly believe when there is a significant lack of evidence of his/her existence.